This post is infused with the power of Guarana...
...as is EVERYTHING else, it would seem. The junk is literally everywhere. Well, OK, mostly in drinks, but being an all-natural source of energy that has basically the same effect as caffeine, it's only a matter of time before it's stuck in every freakin' thing we could possibly injest. I look forward to guarana-infused coffee and the ensuing heart palpitations.
Good news - the shakes now come in berry form. GUARANA IS A DRUG!
For those of you who need a little background on this wonderful, wonderful berry (it's really all about berries, honestly), go ahead and cruise on over to this site. Ah the internet - helping us get all hopped up since 1997, roughly, depending upon your level of tech-geekiness.
I haven't actually tried the sodas that are made from Guarana, although our local Brazilian restaurant, Samba Brazil, has them in stock. Maybe I'll try some next time, though if you know my affinity for coffee or my general ineptitude for sleeping, you'll know that I don't need anything remotely caffeinesque, let alone a substance that matches it chemically. Seriously, crack might be a more healthy choice for me.
The weirdest colloboration between guarana and product I've seen thus far has to be the beers infused with the junk. Labatt has come out with "Shok" and Molson has responded with "Kick". Being an enjoyer of beer (GASP!), I have serious doubts as to how well this would work (fruity beer is roughly equivalent to fruity steak, no matter what the testosterone level is on the panel of judges), or conversely, how legitimate it is. As it turns out, there are more questions to be raised about the beers and the berry in general.
I'm hoping against all hope that this doesn't explode into a crazy marketing trend, but it's got all the makings of a crazy fad that will be particularly popular with youth culture. And we all know that youth culture needs less sleep and more chemically altering substances. I look forward to the many news stories of "guarana-related violence" to come. The beer names are simply harbingers. Ah well, whatever keeps the blame off us.
This weeks assignment: Tell me what product you think it would be horrible/hilarious (often the same thing) to see guarana in.
posted by Hooper @ 3:27 p.m.
14 Comments:
Hmm - tough one - here are my initial and admittedly off color remarks. Because They are off color I am posting anonymously.
1. LSD - sends you on a trip and gives you the energy to go on it.
2. Midol - Because being bitchy is exhausting
3. Viagra - now you can get up AND go
4. Baby Formula
5. Ice cream
6. Cyst cream
7. Anal Suppositories – so you don’t get tired of crapping
I can't believe I've gotten but ONE comment on this, and an anonymous one at that. Though if you can't figure out who posted that, shame on you. I think that the lack of posting either has to do with a) me mentioning I like beer, or b) me not blogging for like 2 weeks, and people losing interest. Either way, you're all losing points, so frig ya's.
Anyway, little update - I went to Samba Brazil for supper tonight, and there I tried some Guarana pop. Gotta tell you, it's actually REALLY good. It's got a very natural taste to it, sweet but not too sweet. I recommend it, and when the time comes where guarana is in everything and I'm forced to hate it because I'm a curmudgeonly old wanker that way, I'll definitely shed a tear.
"curmudgeonly" ???!!!!
Yes.
I know: sleeping pills! Oh, wait... How about sun tan lotion? Protects you from the sun AND keeps you from getting sleepy while at the beach. Makes for a safer drive home. Or something. Uh... I got nothing. I think that's why no one else replied. We're very uncreative about stuff we know nothing about.
But I provided source information AND visual aids! No one can use the excuse of lack of knowledge! A point subtraction of equalled fury shall be unleashed. Cower, one and all, and know the horror of diminshed scores! Bwaaah!
Bah! iI don't want to lose points....but there is just SO MUCH PRESSURE TO PERFORM WELL on this blog! sheesh. Can't we all just get points for liking to read you? you should have pity.
Call me lazy, but I have to ask: Since guarana could be inserted into ANYTHING what's the point of coming up with suggestions?
Why, for my amusement, Jo. I'm a little shocked you had to ask. If it helps, let me illustrate my worldview:
Everything should either be for, be involved in, or in some way pertain to my amusement.
Also, it's for points. It all comes back to points. You DO get points for being a nice girl with insightful thoughts, though your pleas for pity show signs of weakness, and last time I checked, no good governing body that issued points did so for wussiness.
Very logical query, in reality, but my rampant, random, otherworldly sense of humor and need for fun trumps it, I'm afraid.
Oh yeah = Jo, do you have MSN? If not, I highly suggest stepping into the 21st century and using it. That way I can get to know the Jo I never knew at Bethany, and we'll all profit. Somehow. I think. I'll get the pie charts.
Excuse me Mr. Hooper, but "wussiness" is not a word. Also, in MY point system, you have just lost points for associating me with such a derogatory word.
For, prior to this unfortunate incident I may have gladly chatted on Msn with you. But, my new notebook does not work in the local wireless coffee shop, and comp lab access is limited here in GA. This sad fact is near to driving me stark crazy mad. Add this madness with my anger at the disrespect you have shown me here and you are stirring up the concoction that is known as "The Wrath of Hannah Jo."
But sure, add me to your msn list if you still dare. I'll click yes when I recognize you: (mylastname+jo@hotmail)
So is it a word or not? Do make up your mind. And since the "Wrath of Hannah Jo" is a concoction, I have to ask: is it infused with guarana? I sure hope not. Energetic wrath is a scary thing.
I took the risk and added you though.
It wont trickle down until its tested on the military first. Isnt that the way it works :)
I'll keep my ears out for you and let you know. In the interim Im going with anonymous and the anal suppositories theory.
Good on ya. Mr. ymous
I got one. Baby food! Now gimme points. Rossy
are you ever gonna post again??
Post a Comment
<< Home