This post is infused with the power of Guarana...

...as is EVERYTHING else, it would seem. The junk is literally everywhere. Well, OK, mostly in drinks, but being an all-natural source of energy that has basically the same effect as caffeine, it's only a matter of time before it's stuck in every freakin' thing we could possibly injest. I look forward to guarana-infused coffee and the ensuing heart palpitations.

Good news - the shakes now come in berry form. GUARANA IS A DRUG!

For those of you who need a little background on this wonderful, wonderful berry (it's really all about berries, honestly), go ahead and cruise on over to this site. Ah the internet - helping us get all hopped up since 1997, roughly, depending upon your level of tech-geekiness.

I haven't actually tried the sodas that are made from Guarana, although our local Brazilian restaurant, Samba Brazil, has them in stock. Maybe I'll try some next time, though if you know my affinity for coffee or my general ineptitude for sleeping, you'll know that I don't need anything remotely caffeinesque, let alone a substance that matches it chemically. Seriously, crack might be a more healthy choice for me.

The weirdest colloboration between guarana and product I've seen thus far has to be the beers infused with the junk. Labatt has come out with "Shok" and Molson has responded with "Kick". Being an enjoyer of beer (GASP!), I have serious doubts as to how well this would work (fruity beer is roughly equivalent to fruity steak, no matter what the testosterone level is on the panel of judges), or conversely, how legitimate it is. As it turns out, there are more questions to be raised about the beers and the berry in general.

I'm hoping against all hope that this doesn't explode into a crazy marketing trend, but it's got all the makings of a crazy fad that will be particularly popular with youth culture. And we all know that youth culture needs less sleep and more chemically altering substances. I look forward to the many news stories of "guarana-related violence" to come. The beer names are simply harbingers. Ah well, whatever keeps the blame off us.

This weeks assignment: Tell me what product you think it would be horrible/hilarious (often the same thing) to see guarana in.